Archive | April, 2011

Wii is almost dead.

30 Apr

With only 2 compelling titles to offer this year, it’s no wonder that Nintendo’s little white money maker isn’t as compelling as it once was.

Lets cut to the chase. There are just some games that the Wii cannot do, period. It’s not just the visuals that I’m talking about either. Take the Dead Rising franchise for example. One of the draws of the Xbox 360 original was the sheer amount of zombies on screen at one time. The version that Capcom delivered for Wii, Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop, was so stripped down that at the end of the day it was very un-fun. The Wii simply cannot handle having that many characters on-screen at one time so the developers were forced to scale back.

I bet Nintendo has been thinking the same thing.

Enter Project Café. I wonder how many Pikmin Mr. Miyamoto has in store for us in the next-gen? How far off into the distance will we be able to see in the first ever Zelda title in HD, WILL I BE ABLE TO PLAY SONIC GENERATIONS ON IT?!

I love my Wii, but just like all the consoles before it, after awhile it’s just time for a face lift. You had a good run little buddy, but I’m ready for the next-gen.


29 Apr


also, here’s the full gameplay of green hill zone in sonic generations,
made by smashing together two videos.

WOW. More generations gameplay.

24 Apr

Impressive stuff.

Japanese Sonic Generations site now open

22 Apr

You should now feel mentally invigorated.

Play to Befriend a Pokemon(!)

20 Apr

Y’know what, DONT. Iwata’s probably laughing at us poor fools who would dare to play it.

I’ve spent 5 days on that game, trying desperately to unlock myself an eevelution.

If you don’t know what it is, it’s a VERY bad remake of brickbreaker made by a 5 year old in half an hour.
it’s a skippy, glitchy mess, that disgraces pokemon.

The goal is simple, beat 4 levels, win one of eevee’s evolutions.
i obviously wanted an umbreon or an espeon, as i have the others.
but i swear, i got to level 4, and was on my last life, the ball hit the paddle and rolled off. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BOUNCE.

Whatever evil 5 year old made this game clearly didn’t want anybody to get a free pokemon. I feel bad for you people, so if you’d like an Eevee, contact me.

In other news, pokemon global link is fixed. i’m quite happy with it, as i just got a surskit :D

SLANDER. I call shenanigans.

19 Apr

What do you do in the dog-eat-dog business world when the competition has left your mangled corpse in the dust in terms of sales figures? Inform the press that your rivals are a bunch of poopoo buttfaces , clap the dirt off your hands and pat yourself on the back for a job well done, of course. Total self-delusion is doing wonders for Charlie Sheen — when your career takes a huge nosedive, just fly in the face of all logic and reason, adamantly repeat that you’re still “Winning, DUH!” and they’ll believe you. Why not Sony too?

I hesitate to dignify Jack Tretton’s schoolyard taunting with a response, but I’ve also never been one to pass on an opportunity to invite friends and countrymen to join me as I stand agape in awe as the biggest loser struts around like the king of town. The PlayStation CEO had these violent torpedoes of truth to offer CNN Fortune:

“I mean, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Why would I buy a gaming system without a hard drive in it? How does this thing scale? Motion gaming is cute, but if I can only wave my arms six inches, how does this really feel like I’m doing true accurate motion gaming?”

“Our view of the ‘Game Boy experience’ is that it’s a great babysitting tool, something young kids do on airplanes, but no self-respecting twenty-something is going to be sitting on an airplane with one of those. He’s too old for that.”

Pretty big talk for the CEO of last place. CNN rightly points out that “Sony lost as much as $307 for every console model, and in fact, the Playstation 3 business was in the red until the company’s fiscal fourth quarter of last year”, which Tretton spins as the PS3 finally hitting its stride. The author also notes that “Nintendo’s DS devices have sold more than 146 million units worldwide, while the PSP currently tops out at 67 million.” Even Charlie Sheen would have to admit that the scoreboard doesn’t lie, bro.

Granted, he’s the head of Sony’s PlayStation department and it’s his job to portray Sony’s mediocre performance in both the handheld and console markets as some kind of master strategy, waiting to unveil the true staying power of their products. But anyone that’s not a fanboy can see it amounts to little more than “Oh yeah? Your mom. BOOM!”

Let’s see what amazing piece of technological marvel Sony has created this year…. hmmmmm…. didn’t think so…… Last year? oh yeah, the Wii knockoff…..

Rage over. :p

Sonic Generations Gameplay Trailer

18 Apr

SEGA, You hit the nail on the head! with like, a nuke or something….

nice job guys.
oh…. one more thing… STOP WITH THE WORD EPIC. WE CAN SEE THAT.

%d bloggers like this: